In about a week, I am making the biggest move I have ever had to make. I (along with my older brother) am uprooting myself from sunny San Diego to hot-as-fuck Dallas. Friends keep asking me how I feel about the move. I keep saying the same thing: I am excited. I am happy. I know that once the day hits, once we leave the San Diego limits, I am going to feel all kinds of things. I know I will feel this pang of sadness — mostly because my life is in San Diego. My family, my friends, my memories, and the sense of familiarity is here. Once we cross the Texas border, I am sure it will feel very much like my experience during our Sunset Cliffs dive. There was that sudden fear that arose once I stepped closer to the edge. The fear of the cliff ending, nothing but air to catch me, and nothing but the water to fall into. My mind kept me from jumping, so I stepped off of the edge. All I felt was nothingness around me, and all I heard was the sound of my heart beating faster and faster. The drop felt like forever. And then I plunged feet first into the forming waves. There was the struggle of climbing back onto the cliff formation. I was shaken up, but alive. I guess that is what I will be looking forward to. The feeling of knowing that I am still alive. This is the next chapter; my life will continue in a new city with strangers and unfamiliar places that I will soon come across. And then the sense of fear will be replaced by that fluttering feeling people experience when they start dating someone new.
P.S. San Diego, I will always love you!